Focus on What You Can Control

Focus on What You Can Control

by | Mar 3, 2022 | Goals and Priorities, Habits, Mental Health, Planning, Time Management

My daughter was recently feeling some anxiety at school and texted to let me know. One of the responses I texted back was to “focus on what you can control.” It had an impact, and she decided to post it on social media. The next day she told me it was her most shared post ever – it resonated with many of her followers.

Later that week, a coaching client shared a challenge she had encountered when an unexpected issue arose that stopped her in her tracks. It caused her stress and frustration and caused her to lose many hours of time. As we talked through her reaction to the situation, I asked her, “Looking back, what could you control about the situation at that moment?”, “What was the appropriate reaction?”, “What next steps did you take, or could you have taken?”

With so much out of our control on a daily basis, it’s important to control what we can, be intentional about our thoughts and choices, and act based on this. It’s not always easy but worrying about things we have no control over wastes time and energy and increases stress.

Below are a few tools you might consider to help you focus on those things you can control, so you can better cope with the unexpected and uncontrollable.

Plan

Do you often feel you are constantly reacting to the current “fire” or “squeaky wheel”? Some believe there is no use in planning if things are out of your control anyway. But, this is exactly the reason for it. Planning allows you to gain control over your time and actions in a proactive way. It gives you a better understanding of what is urgent and what is important. Then when the unexpected occurs you can more easily adjust and make intentional choices about if, and how, it fits into your plan. By planning you are making a habit of “focusing on what you can control.”

Stop and Think, Then Act

When the unexpected occurs, or you are feeling anxiety at a certain moment, step back from the situation and ask yourself the following questions:

    • What can I control about this situation or about what I am feeling?
    • Is this my worry or my challenge to handle or does it belong to someone else?
    • What specific action(s) can I take to move forward?

Taking a moment to answer these questions will allow you to refocus and transition from being reactive to proactive, allowing for intentional choices about your next thoughts and actions.

Journal

If you are someone who best processes information by writing, take some time to journal your answers to the questions above. Journaling daily on anything that weighs on your mind is a great habit to develop to gain control over your thoughts and actions.

Meditate or Pray

Depending on your spiritual preference, tools such as meditation and prayer can help keep your mind focused and present, along with other benefits. Practicing regularly will help train your mind to react in a more relaxed and focused way when dealing with unexpected and challenging situations. There are many free apps that can help you learn and practice these techniques including Calm, Headspace, and Insight Timer.

What tools or techniques have you found to help you decrease anxiety and stress and focus on the things you can control? Share them in the comments below!

 

The Best-Laid Plans of Mice and Men…

The Best-Laid Plans of Mice and Men…

by | May 20, 2021 | General Productivity, Planning

I had a blog ready to post this month but changed my mind at the last minute. The original blog I wrote focused on the importance of tying a clear vision, goals, and priorities to your daily to-do list. While I still think this is vital to making sure you are working on the right things each day, I decided to put that blog aside until next month. What has been coming up over and over the past week, that I felt more important to share this month, is the fact that no matter how much we plan and prepare, life often throws us curve balls. I’m sure no one would argue, especially in the environment of the past year. So, why even plan at all?

Why Plan?

Planning takes time. It requires difficult decisions. Good planning also creates the need to know your vision, goals, and priorities. Some people may determine the time and effort isn’t worth it…life doesn’t go according to plan anyway, right? But without a plan, without the knowledge and clarity of who you want to be, where you want to go, and how you will get there, the odds of reaching your goals are very low. Without a plan, the stress of the unexpected and the unknown is much higher. Without a plan, you are reacting to the needs and changes around you without intentional thought and value-based decisions.

With a plan in place, you gain more control over your days, your weeks, and your life. A plan puts systems and boundaries around the chaos. Barbara Hemphill, a mentor and leader in the productivity industry, says “Control what you can, so you can cope with what you can’t.” Planning provides you with this control. When the uncontrollable occurs and you are required to “pivot,” you can do so with a great deal more confidence that you are making the right choices. The stress and overwhelm that often results from change is much lower. Your original plan is adjusted, not forgotten, so you will continue to progress towards your vision for success.

Characteristics of a Good Plan

How do you create a plan that allows for the unexpected or for a change in direction? Following are the key features of a good plan:

  1. It ties to your life and career mission, vision, priorities, and long-term goals,
  2. It is written. Studies show writing something down makes it more likely to happen and allows for better processing, so pen to paper is ideal, but getting it out of your head and in digital form is better than not getting it down at all,
  3. It leaves room for flexibility. In other words, don’t plan every minute of every day.
  4. It is reviewed and reset regularly.

Stay tuned for next month’s blog as I dive deeper into #1 above which is the key to creating the best plan for YOU.

If you need some assistance with creating or adjusting your planning process, I’d love to help. Click to learn more about my Productivity Coaching plans.